I guess they call this part of life, "Growing Up"

As I was leaving my sister Jen's house a few weeks ago, I was walking out along the driveway to my car. I turned to see that her daughter (my niece) Marin had followed me out. Marin is literally 5 going on 25. She is so smart. SO FUNNY. I turned as I was getting into my little white Honda and yelled out, "Love you!". She turned around and looked at me, said "Love you too, Aunt Jo!". I swear to you in that instant, I almost cried. Haha, as ridiculously dramatic as that sounds, I just began to think that this little girl, who was still inside of her mommy when we moved to Arkansas 5 years ago, was growing up so fast. 5 years have passed by remarkably quickly, and I suddenly had this familiar ache realizing that the 5 years I have had with this girl I had taken so for granted. I have lived in the same town as the little peanut for her whole life, and as it may not devastate her to say goodbye to me in the fall, it will be a real trial for me to face. She is so smart, so tall, so funny, so innocent. 6 months when you are 5 years old means you will develop 10 times the vocabulary, grow 3 feet, start on your career path. Haha, maybe that's only a little dramatic. But still, here I am standing in Jen's driveway and this flood of emotions comes on me and I realize that all I can do is lay them in the Lords hands and remember that it is HE who is guiding me on my journey to New Zealand this fall, and it is HE who has planned my life.

As the summer has gone on, I have begun to realize how many endings have passed or are quickly approaching. I know this is the cliche that everyone must be so tired of, but honestly, HOW could it have already been over 10 years since I was first a camper at Camp Barakel? How could it have been 5 years since I stepped out of the moving truck that held countless years of Michigan memories, which were then ending to start a whole new chapter of Arkansas stories? How could I be this girl now, a girl with 18 years worth of memories and challenges and achievements? I guess you could say this is a typical post-graduate blog, but I just can't help but reminisce for a moment.

I remember being a staff-kid at Camp Barakel, sitting at the tables in the East Side Dining Hall, passing Hannah Ford a note I had put meticulous artistic work into with a very memorable phrase written on the inside. "Will you be my best friend?" it read. How blessed I have been these 18 years that every trial and tear and laugh and joy we have been through, we have gone through together. But how could I forget my first soccer practice with Hannah's younger sister, Natalie, who little did I know would become one of the dearest people in the world to me. Or dressing up poor Daniel Douglas in the only clothes my family of sisters ever had for dress-up: dresses. He was always a trooper and amazingly did not hold those days of dress up against us, and decided to become such a partner in crime to Hannah, Natalie, and I. I will never forget watching my sisters pack up their belongings and haul it into camp for the summer to become technicians, always planning with excitement the day that would come when I got to take their place and back up my stuff into the back of Dad's patchwork of a pickup truck, the Beast, and move into camp for the summer, only to find out that God's plan is not always our plan. I traded summers of Teching in camp for long, hilarious nights with my Arkansas friends, Church camp with some of the best friends I can imagine, long, hot drives to Michigan for a few weeks of the old life, and always the first days of school in August at Ozark High School. And as much as I would have said 5 years ago that I would have given anything to spend those summers at camp, God knew where he was putting me, and he gave me some of the best memories a girl can ask for while I have been down here in Arkansas. I have been blessed beyond anything I deserve, from the times Amber Hicks and I would fly around Ozark on our bikes all summer long, the times Vinci Chan and I have wanted to keel over during our crossfit class, the times I laughed so hard that I cried while riding on the band bus after football games, the times I have been privileged to lead worship at my church, or the times I wanted so badly to make that shot in basketball. I have been blessed beyond reason.

The summer will pass quickly, and before I know it I will be on a plane headed for New Zealand. What an unexpected adventure the Lord has placed before me, and what a joy it will be to turn the page in my life and take another step. I guess you could say it's all bittersweet. This fall we will say goodbye to my sister and her family as they embark on a journey to England with the Lord for 3 years. I will watch my niece Marin blow out the candles on her 4th year and say hello to 5, Ava will turn 4, June will turn 3, and Sadie and William will be 1. How blessed I am to be an aunt to so many little peanuts. :)

I am so thankful to you all for the way you have encouraged my trip to New Zealand. I couldn't be more excited. You all have played such important roles in God's plan for my future.

Since I obviously can't end this with some corny goodbye, as I have to save those for September, I can end it with a verse, which will always make an appropriate ending. I will hold this verse as a promise from my Savior, that though it will never be easy for me to say goodbye to people and places, He is powerful and will accomplish infinitely more in my feeble, unimpressive life than I could ever imagine.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." - Ephesians 3:20