..for it is God who is working in youuu

"I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content -- whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:12-13

I'll be the first to say I am pretty hard to please. In a world where getting getting getting is number one in most peoples' lives, it's hard to remember why we're here and what this whole life thing is all about. Lately I've been reading some of Paul's letters. Today I read Philippians, and it strikes me over and over and over how incredibly at peace and content with his situation (which was being imprisoned at least 4 times and put to death by the Romans for his faith) he is. You never read about Paul complaining to his people about being in jail, being hungry or tired. In fact, in 2 Corinthians 7:4, he even goes so far to say that he is overjoyed. "I have great confidence in you; I have great pride in you. I am filled with encouragement. I am filled with joy in all our afflictions." If you were in jail, hungry, surrounded by people that hated you because of what you believe, and wrongly accused, do you think you would be happy? Ehhhh, probably not. Paul's undying faith and contentment would of been a HUGE boost of confidence for me if I had been one receiving his letters. I mean.. geez! He says in verse 11 of chapter 4 of Philippians, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." Contentment.. in any situation..

Confidence - trust or faith in a person or thing; a trusting relationship.

holy moly, it's been a while. haha. I just have a little something to say.

2 Corinthians 7:4 - I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged. In all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds.

Julie Armstrong gave me this verse this week to kind of focus on. This book is from Paul writing to the church at Corinth, but I found myself reading this verse a little differently. This verse, although written to Corinth, made me stop and think. Lately I've had some trouble with confidence. (don't act like it hasn't happened to you). Mostly in basketball. The other night the thought occured to me, hey Jo, maybe you ought to pray about it. So I did. I fell asleep praying. The next day Julie gave me this verse, and although it's from Paul and not exactly in the context of my situation, it made me think "hey, if Paul felt this towards the Corinthians, how much more does GOD feel it for ME? I mean, God cares 100909850293847 times more about people than we ever could, so doesn't that mean God must have a whole lot of confidence in us? In me? It's kind of nice to think about how much God really does love us and how much he's rooting for us. He's just up there saying Jo, I'm right here. I made you in my image, and I'm here to help you. I have confidence in you.

praise

Tonight I was at youth, and I LOVE singing! Worship is like my FAVORITE thing to do at church. Better than dodgeball :) Unfortunately, out of maybe 30 kids, about 5 were singing. I kept getting weird looks because I was one of the odd ones out. Shouldn't it be the other way around? The MAJORITY should be PRAISING and WORSHIPING Him! Not the minority! Psalm 98:4 says "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the Earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise!". God mentioned the word "PRAISE [the Lord]" around 200+ times in the whole Bible; wouldn't you think it's pretty important? God created the world, sent his son to die for us, forgave us of our sins, not to mention the fact that he promised He would KEEP forgiving us, and PROMISED to come back. Isn't that a little incentive to praise Him?! God is AMAZING. He is PERFECT. There is NONE.LIKE.HIM! What more do you need?! My dad is in our church choir, and he's told me times of when he's up there and praising, singin out to God, and it's unlike anything. Just him and God. Sure, he may not exactly be opera material, but he BLESSES the Lord with his voice. And lemme tell ya one thing; my dad couldn't care less if you think he's weird for singin loud, because for him, he is kneeling at the feet of Jesus, in his [presence]. Guys, I can't stress to you enough how incredibly important worship is! You may hear me belting the songs out in the back, and think, man she's kind of a freak. But man guys, if you could only experience it. The feeling that you're doing something that honors God. It's unreal. People say there's nothing like the feeling you get from being saved, and I agree, being saved is... well there's no word to describe it. But worshiping? It's right up there with it. To me, it's special. It's personal.

Maybe all this is just me, but guys, if you couldn't care less about anything I've said until now, care about this;

God loves you. He loves me. He saved you. He saved us all from a fate worse than death, and He LONGS for you. He is JEALOUS for you!

Isn't that enough to give up a few minutes of your texting/social life/boyfriend/girlfriend/favorite-song-on-the-radio time? Man, it's enough for me..

peace and blessings.

People warned me about how my friends would change in highschool. How the people I thought I'd had all figured out would completely change. I couldn't count the amount of times my friends told me. And even now that it happens, man it hurts like junk. No matter how prepared you are for it, you can never fully prepare for that kinda thing. it's hard. real hard.
Guess that's all I really had to say.

Oh praise him all his mighty works, there is no language where you can't be heard.

Highschool can be a drag. I'll be the first to admit that. But something I've realized stands out to me the most, is the sad, sad faces of those kids wandering the halls in my school. It's like they're really, truly, completely lost. It breaks my heart when I see those kids sitting by themselves over in the corner during lunch. But believe me, those aren't the only unhappy people. You see "popular" kids all over the place, happy and enjoying their lunch. But have you ever stopped to wonder if they're really, truly happy? They probably don't have any real friends they can trust, maybe their parents demand way to much out of them. There are hundreds of things that could be running through their mind. We walk along, some of us (like me) avoiding all contact with the kids we don't know and happy to stay with the few actual friends I can count on. But I see those kids walking alone, sitting alone, never talking, and lets be honest, if a kid never gets in trouble for talking in class, there's a problem; ESPECIALLY if it's a girl ;)

This week, look around at the kids in your school. Think about that new kid sitting in your class, looking hopelessly lost. Here's a problem for me: instead of smarting off to the popular kid that thinks waaaay too highly of themselves, smile and offer a hand when they drop their stuff in the hall. The tiniest things can make a difference in someone's day. One time last week, I dropped some stuff out of my locker and someone walked by and snorted at me, laughing "That's gay." and walked away. Never offered a hand. I was mad about it all day. Some people are real inconsiderate, but you gotta learn to just wave it off. Most of em are just too obsessed with themselves to worry about someone else. When that person drops their stuff sometime, I'll bend down and help em out, all 6 feet of me, without making a jerkish remark. Am I gonna like it? No, but it proves who the bigger person is. You can't stoop to their level. That kid might have just spilled coffee on them, broken up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, and then lost all their homework. That'd be a pretty bad day to me, and if someone bent down to help me out on a day like that, I'd be pretty happy. "Do not overcome evil with evil, but overcome evil with good." "Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, and in purity." This week I challenge you to help that person you really don't like out, or sit with the kid who's by himself at lunch. You can do it, I believe in you :)

>:(

If there's ANYTHING I hate it's jerks that make fun of my friends. I can take teasing, whatever, but you mess with my friends, you're in for it. I don't understand how on earth someone could feel SO insecure that they need to make fun of others to compensate for it. Some people really just don't get it.

I would write more on this PARTICULAR subject but seeing how if I do I'll probably say something I regret, I'll leave it at this:

Get over your petty insecurities. Nobody likes gossip, name-calling, and all that other junk. It makes you look even more immature and stupid and I REALLY can't stand it so just stop and get over yourselves.

AGH.

I want more than just ok

In my life I've definitely settled for just "ok" on some things. Like, an "OK" grade instead of an A. Or Just having an OK practice instead of 100%. The list goes on. Lately my family has been trying to find an affordable house to buy, and it's getting REAL stressful REAL fast. I worry about it a lot, but the worst thing I've been doing is having and OK relationship with God. In times like these, we need to step up and push through TRUSTING that God will provide; but when you have an "OK" relationship with God, you can't possibly trust him completely. God tells us in the bible he'd rather we not be a Christian at all than a lukewarm Christian. That's where I've been these past few months, and the feeling of finally getting stuff right with God is unlike anything else.
If a 15 year old kid came up and challenged you to do something, I know plenty of people that would pat my head, smile and shake their head, and walk off thinking how silly that little kid is. If I said to you "I've been through this. I know what it's like to not be on track. Let me challenge you to fight to be right with God EVEN when it HURTS. Even when you just want to give up. Because if you don't, Satan will find his way through your fake smile you have during Church. You can count on it; unless you make yourself right with God," would you pat my head and walk away? Because believe me I've met my fair share of people that have. Don't walk away. Wanna know why? Because Christ NEVER walked away from us and he NEVER will.

God wants SO much more for you than just "ok".

Home

Ironic how last year this time we were looking at the house I'm now living in. Ironic how 1 year later we are looking at a new house.

Ironic that we have such a desire to stay in Ozark.

3 years ago my parents told me we were moving to Arkansas. As my dad sat on my bed, both of us crying, he said "Jo I'll try and find another place. We won't go to Arkansas."
"No. Whatever God says. Go." I don't know what made me say it. In my right mind I would've gladly agreed with a new place NOT 1000 miles from home. Maybe it was the fear of what I'd seen happen to people who didn't obey God. Maybe it wasn't me talking, but God somehow speaking through me. Whatever it was, here we are, 1000 miles from where I was born, making plans and praying about a new house in OZARK.
All I know is that God knew what he was talking about when he told us Arkansas.

Jess Luess

I will be the first to admit, sometimes our parents will do things we don't understand. Sometimes for the better, and yes, sometimes they make mistakes. I will also be the first to admit I've grown up in a GREAT family with GREAT parents. But every kid comes to a point where they want a little more freedom, and yeah it'd be nice to have some more. But they're really just looking out for us. It's hard, and a lot of you would probably say I don't even understand what it's like to have parents that are strict or "mean." I definitely don't think my parents have ever been deliberatly mean to any of us, and yeah they have they're strict areas, but in the long run they just want to protect you. No I don't have mean or super strict parents, but I have my struggles with them that you wouldn't have any idea. I'm stubborn and have never been one to like taking orders and when I lived in Michigan I was given a lot of freedom because I lived at a Christian camp where not much bad happened. Moving into a town, even this small, I know it's hard for my parents to let me be all the places I am and be so involved in school and all. But they're learning, thank the Lord ;) They have really tried to transition into giving me more freedom and they've always been good about trusting me if I earn it. Nobody has perfect parents, and they WILL make mistakes. Just remember, they grew up in a different time with different ways of life. Give em a break, but remember, they're your parents. If you have a problem or a question or something, TELL THEM. They won't bite! Even if the whole world abandons you, your parents will always be your parents.

I can't wait to kiss the ground wherever we touch back down.

It's August.
The most dreaded month EVER. August should just become depressed that no one likes it and go away.
Because the only thing we have to look forward to is *choke* school. We are not capable of seeing beyond that.

The highschool years we all look forward to so much has come upon me. When you are accepted for who you are and you are popular and everyone loves you and life is great and you have no homework and sports are always awesome and you love all your teachers right?

WRONG!

I hate to be pessimistic here fellas but I'm entering highschool. What is there to look forward to? You don't get lunch with your friends and the tall kid gets stuck with the bottom locker adn someone hates you all year and one teacher can't stand you and on top of that, at the end of the day, the coaches murder you. YAY.

oK ENOUGH complaining. Lets think of happy things.

1.) I got to see Rebekah Davis :D Life is good.
2.) Summer basketball is over!
3.) I got to see my Michi-gang
4.) God is AWESOME
5.) I have great friends (Like Amber :) )
6.) The sun shone today!
7.) I have adorable nieces!
8.) Maybe I WILL get a top locker
9.) I'm still alive!
10.) God is still awesome :)

I'll be out of my mind, and you'll be out of ideas pretty soon.

(comments on a real picture)

- ______, You DON'T look bad! You are VERY pretty!

- Whatever! Yall are crazy! ______ You are WAYYY prettier than me!

Really guys? Either you just really want attention, or you think God doesn't know what he's doing when he made you. It says in the bible that we are "fearfully and WONDERFULLY made." Out of ALLLLL Gods creation, we are his MASTERPIECE. Let me say that again. MAS-TER-PIECE! You are BEAUTIFUL without make up, or jewelery, or dyed hair. God made you. Look at how beautiful God made the sky, and trees and WORLD. Do you not mean much more to him than the trees? Goodness gracious guys!

This DOES NOT mean you should be conceited about it. God made us beautiful, but the Bible ALSO says that our ONLY boast should be in HIM. Not in ourselves. God made us so beautiful, and he has a purpose for us all, but remember the first part of that phrase. GOD made us. His own personal design for our lives in particular. We are the masterpieces of the greatest designer of all time. He knew what our purpose would be before we were born. Before Adam and Eve. If WAYYY back then he was already planning how we would look and our purpose and life, don't you think we're pretty stinking important to him? The next time you're tempted to put yourself down like that, think of one thing:
God made you, and when you put yourself down and call yourself ugly, you are calling a design of the God of the UNIVERSE ugly. I think that pretty much speaks for itself.

Life is still worth living.

Sometimes I wonder where our country's going when I see commercials about things like scientology on the TV when Christianity is even trying to be pushed out of the Pledge of Allegiance. It just makes me stop and think.

Joel Nizza was at Governors School here in Arkansas for the past 4 weeks. He said that one of the people spoke on how Christians are imposing their faith on others, or forcing it on them. It's just like, Oh okay! So you're aloud to tell me that I'm an idiot for being a Christian and all that and that's not "imposing" on me. Nah go ahead and bash my faith and I'll just sit back and not stand up for what I believe because everyone else will be mad at me for forcing it on them.

I don't want to sit back anymore and watch the devil slowly but surely take over this nation OR this world, because we all know he's after it. And it's scary to think about it that he is, but it's even scarier to think that we are ALL just sitting at home watching him do it. We've been pushing God out of our schools, our communities, our lives, and our country for so many years and we are facing the consequences. I want to make a difference.

I believe that God has called me to do his work here. Right here in the United States of America. Where he sends me, I will go. I have devoted my life to him because he paid my debt. I owe him more than I could ever pay, and to live for him is the least I could do.

- Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead. -

yeah...

We have all been subject to judgment, and we are all guilty of judging.
I'll be honest, if I see an old man sitting on his porch watching the world go by, i've been guilty more than once of speeding my bike up and saying "creeper" under my breath.

But here's the fact of the matter.

Whether you know it or not, or whether you want to admit it, we have ALL judged.

So stop sitting around telling your neighbor that so-and-so down the street did it with whats-his-face downtown and she's obviously a slut because DUH she's slept around with like EVERY guy. At least that's what facebook is telling me. JUST STOP.

Or OMG did you hear about the new girl? She looks like she's on drugs or something. Guess what? Not every person can afford to have make-up or that new hollister shirt or your precious flat iron. Not every girl has had the perfect little past with everything she wants. Maybe she's been giving up new shoes for 2 years just so her mom could finally afford a surgery that would eventually save her life.

Believe me don't think I'm not preaching to myself here. I'm guilty of this and MORE! I'm just SICK AND TIRED of it and the petty gossip that goes through our schools and all the kids that are so scared to come to school in the morning because they're so tired of being teased, or beat up, or laughed at, or sick of not having a friend in the whole school because everyone else is too afraid of losing their perfect image of the star football player that can have any girl he wants, or that smart girl with all her smart friends that are "studying for their next test" but are secretly laughing at her behind their books. I've been that girl that sits by herself for months. Anyone who went to a new school KNOWS how it feels to be that kid that has always been stared at because not a single person ever took the time to get to know who they really are and what they've been through.. How could ANYONE ever want to put someone through that? It makes me sick to think about it.

Because no matter how much homework you have, or how many friends you have to hang out with, that kid sitting by them self at that table in the corner may be just searching for ONE person to come and say "Hey, come sit with us!". Maybe they say no, but believe me, you will never understand how much those five words could mean in the rest of their day.

You will never understand what everyone's been through, so stop acting like you do.

NAMES! They're what you get when you're born.

So... Sorry I keep changing the blogola. I just don't like staying one way for very long:)

I'm 1 month into the summer and it's grand. I looooove it. But there is one thing this summer I CAN'T stand. The fact that REBEKAH DAVIS is not here with me.
Some of you may know her, some maybe not.. Sorry this is just one of those times when you awkwardly stand by while your friend talks to someone you don't know.
Bekah, I love you.

Okay so.

Recently, I remembered how much I want a dog. So, just thought I should share this fact with you. I want a dog.

Well I didn't really have much to say.. I just felt the need to inform you of a few things.
Stay cool chillens. Stay cool.

You make everything glorious, and I am yours. What does that make me?

Last night a few of my friends and I went fishing. It was definitely the highlight of my summer so far, besides Church Camp of course. :)
I didn't catch ANYTHING for like an hour and a half. Of course Vinci the Asian over here is catching everything on her scooby doo fishing pole. Haha.
Well it kind of made me think about my life, and the fact that we've had to wait on the Lord to provide. We see other people around us that get all this stuff they want for Christmas and Birthdays and all that and go shopping whenever they want, but you have to wait and save for it. I know personally if I wanted expensive things, I usually had to pay for it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to get all that stuff you want for Christmas and birthdays, but it's so much more satisfying to get things yourself. At one point last night Joseph put his fish on my hook and said,
"Okay, you caught one. Can we go now?"
Sometimes you just have to wait on God to provide what you need. It takes patience and a little wisdom to know what you REALLY NEED, but God provides. He always has in my life and I will keep trusting him.
We waited for a little while longer for fish, and guess what? I ended up catching 8 fish last night.
I'll wait and God will provide my "fish" when I need it. :)

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

3 days, 13 games, a whole buncha bruises, and a few blisters later, I realize just how tough you gotta be to play basketball. We really don't get enough credit. I am sleep deprived, and I feel like I just ran a marathon. Who knows how many miles we've all ran these past few days.
I realized something about myself these past 3 days.

I like to hurt people.
And that makes it all the harder to be a Christian on the court.

If you elbow me, you can expect another elbow coming back in your face. Because if I get yelled at because you do something to me and for some dumb reason the ref calls a foul on me, you can sure be ready for the same to happen to you. But I don't WANT to hurt people. it just.. COMES OUT! :( I never knew I had it in me! But all of us have been shoved, knocked to the ground, elbowed, and even had the wind knocked outta us a few too many times. Seriously, if someone touches me, beware, I might explode or a limb might go flying your way at this point.

:)

Catcha on the flipside of my skateboard.

This past week I was at our church camp, Summit Camp. I can honestly say that I really believe it was one of the most life changing things that has ever happened to me.Living without internet, your phone, or iPod may sound like death to some people but really, you don't even think about it. It's actually such a relief to not have to worry about constantly texting or calling someone, or calling your parents to tell them where you are. For a week you just let go and say "God, I'm not distracted, stressed, or worried. I'm ready to be transformed." And maybe, by some divine, undeserved reason God decides to have mercy on us and give you another chance. For once I don't want to have just changed my week. I want my whole life to be changed, because when Christ comes back and looks me in the eye and asks me if all those chances he gave me payed off, I want to be able to bow before him and say yes, should he be merciful enough to even allow me to speak in his presence, because Lord knows I don't deserve it.
Our speaker, Mike Keeahbone, was... amazing. But not until the very last night was I really floored. All week for some reason I had been dealing with jealousy. I prayed and prayed all week that God would take that away and I wouldn't have those feelings anymore. On Friday night, we went into Tabernacle, and instead of a sermon, Keeahbone had us pray and read scripture and it was just.. different. I had never seen kids my age so fearless to stand in front of a crowd and boldly read scripture that God laid on their hearts, or go to the front and pray or pray for others. It was truly inspiring. We got back to the cabin that night, and laying foot in the door, there was not an OUNCE of jealousy in my heart. God does amazing things.
That was just one of the many things God did in our group, including one very special girl being saved.
"For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:29
I am consumed.

Arg Shiver Me Timbers!

I was in Academy (a sports store near where I live) the other day and was looking at shoes. I was wearing my Macinac Island shirt and a man walked by and said "I've been there!". The conversation continued to inform us that he had lived in Michigan but had lived in Arkansas for 30 years. I could still hear his Northern accent but noticed more dominantly his southern openness and kindness.
I guess people down here have just encouraged me so much. Not that Northerners aren't friendly, but meeting random ones on the street you won't really get a conversation. Up there, you get where you're going without pausing for interrupting people more often than not. If you bump into someone at the grocery store I've experienced a few deathly glares up there. But down here, I've had mostly "Oh, sorry sweetheart." or "Oh, I'm so sorry sugar." People are just so.. warm. And I don't mean that in the ew gross you peed yourself kind of way. :)

FANNY Packs make my heart beat fastttt (:

Allison (my sister) headed up to camp on Saturday. It's kinda weird to have the room next to me empty, but I don't mind being able to take a little detour through her room to the rest of the house (;. I think the hardest part of her leaving was just the fact that right now, I sure wouldn't mind going where she's going. I miss camp a lot.. but all in good time. I'll be there the 1st high school week.

SUMMIT CAMP IN 7 DAYS! I'm OH so excited (:

I got pushed into a pool last night. That's right, I'm hardcore.

SCHOOL IS OVER! SUMMER BABY! This is a good thing (:. But my bikes been clicking so it's QUITE annoying to ride it. It also likes to change gears without me asking it to so it conveniently chooses to change gears while I'm standing up on my pedals. It's so kind. There have been many near disasters.
I've refrained from Ultimate Frisbee these days. It's simply too hot and I will not grace them with my presence at YWAM until they decide to do something that WON"T make me drown in sweat. Nasty. The city pool's open.. And against my better judgment I let Vinci talk me into going. It wasn't so bad, aside from my phone nearly getting thrown in.

So for this post I just decided to write a whole buncha nonsense. I hope you enjoyed.
kbye.

Ohh babyy 2010

Urg.

Last night my dad and I were going to have a driving lesson. Fun. Of course, you need to know where your permit is to drive. I swear I tore my room apart looking for it. Any place I could think of, I looked. That stupid little paper, however valuable it may be, was lost. I sat down in the middle of my room and stomped my foot like a little kid. "GOD! YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?!"
I can just visualize God sighing and shaking his head.
I have one thing to say.

I'm such a little brat.

to the good old groups and folks from around the placement of Ozark

K-life. Haven't experienced it? You're missing out. Sure it's kinda smelly on Tuesdays, but its... So... GREAT. I wouldn't be who I am today without it. Anyway.. I have something to say. To whoever's listening. If one person reads this and it changes their mind for the better then I guess my time won't be wasted here typing away at 10:00 at night..
Tyler Cloyde. New K-life guy.
I know there'll be some people that think that ohh.. if Goose is leaving thennnn... What's k-life without him? Guys, we're all out here for the same purpose: to learn more about God. What's Goose from Tyler? They're both servants of God, spreading the news. If you would really take the time to get to know Tyler, I could bet that you won't be disappointed.

BESIDDEESS.. Anyone ever think of the fact that Goose was new once too??
No he isn't everlasting. He hasn't always been around, despite what you may believe.

Chances

I'm reminded over and over again how blessed I am to have a God that gives out chances time and time again. I'm blessed that I have a God that "began a good work in me and will be faithful to complete it." Because if I didn't have that other chance, if I never changed or got closer to God, if He never completed what He started-

I'd be just another burned out candle.

And to be honest I think I want to burn all the way down to the end of my wick, until God says "Hey Jo. I think it's time for what you've been waiting for." I want to be so on fire for God that NOTHING and NO ONE will be able to change my mind.
Unfortunately, I make mistakes.
And if God's still forgiving me after I do this junk again, I'm sure hoping he's got something big for me.
Cause after all this failing and disappointing not only Him, but the people around me, I'm sure ready to do something worth while. Something right.
Because honestly, I don't want to live a pointless life.
Do you?

Me? Leader? Ehh not so much..

Challenges are good. They're hard but good. Sometimes hard to take, sometimes fun to take.
I've been given a challenge.
Anyone that knows Goose Gosset has already decided that they want to be like him. If you haven't met him... you don't have a clue what you're missing.
But tonight Goose said something that struck home.
Are you going to be a leader Jo? No not a K-life leader. I mean a leader everywhere.
Uhm, me? A leader? Ehhh... I think I'd rather avoid controversy with people.
But I don't think it's coincidence that I'm reminded of Isaiah. Send me, I will go.
Will I go? Will I step up?
Uhm....
Wow. That's a big question to ask yourself. When God asks you to go, to be the one that steps up and follows him, will you do it?
Will I do it?

Yes. Here I am. Send me.

Cell Groups, Youth Pastors and things like Tic Tac Toe

So where I come from we have these things called cell groups. It's like a youth group only on Sunday nights with just the girls from my grade or close to my grade (7,8,9). Sometimes we have 8 girls show up. Sometimes it's just Vinci, Julie and I. No matter who comes, it's always something I look forward to all week.

Tonight we had ours at Dari Delite after voting in our new youth pastor, which we've been without for nearly a year in search of one. I felt very important sitting in a church business meeting with all adults except a few kids from my youth. And then it got boring. I realized that this meeting wasn't just about voting the new youth pastor in. I learned that there are currently about 15 to 40 kids attending after school programs. 200 people now attending Sunday School! Not that this wasn't very interesting and all, but Shelby and I completed a game of tic tac toe and successfully wrote with our left hands in our pew. Anyway, we have a new youth pastor. His name's Ed.

I'm constantly reminded in times like these sitting at the Dari Delite or in a pew waiting to find out if we have a new youth pastor or not in the middle of "Yea's" and "Nea's" (or however you spell it) what good friends I have. I've definitely been blessed beyond my understanding and I certainly take it for granted. Not many kids don't have to worry if their friend is talking behind their backs and all. I have a pretty good life.

High school

-Lead me to the cross-
So lately I've been listening to that song. There's just something about finding a Christian song that you love because it just seems hard to find music like that anymore. But I love this song. I don't really know why. I guess it can just apply to everything. Just lead me to the cross.

Basketball's hard. School's hard. Well not really hard. I just hate it.
It's funny how when you get yearbooks you ask people to sign them that you haven't seen or talked to all year. Or how you suddenly realize how close you were with someone at the beginning, and now that the year's winding down you just.. aren't. There's junior high for you.

The only condolence to the fact that this year wasn't all "spectacular" and great and such is that I know I haven't reached the peak yet. I'm still going somewhere. I've still got plenty of time left to figure this stuff out and figure out who I'll be. High school won't be my end. This is just the beginning.

And you have no idea what a comfort it is to know that none of this really matters.