just be.

Nah, I'm no author. But I do have some words. A lot of people are afraid to be open. honest. real. I have something to say to the people out there that are just sad, but don't have any words to say that they are. that are afraid to be honest about being upset. It's okay to be sad. Ok? It's alright. Sometimes I'm sad too. Sometimes it's okay to lay on your bed and cry. pout. be afraid. feel pain. It's okay to be that way. I know I have this amazing life, full of God's blessings, but sometimes I'm sad too. Lately, I have been missing God. I have this hurt inside me because I don't feel him near. It's okay to be hurt. But God's always there. I know He is. I know that He is looking over my shoulder as I type this. But sometimes I feel like He's miles away. speaking to others but passing me by. I know that's not true. I that He's here. But sometimes it doesn't seem like it. Sometimes I have to take a deep breathe and remind myself that I'm still here. Sometimes I have to go underwater and be completely absent of thought and world and life and just imagine that the green tint of the water is all there is. Sometimes I have to scream it out. Sometimes I have to let the tears pour out onto my pillows just because. Sometimes I have to drive. Sometimes I have to just be Jo. Just this girl who wanders through life. I have a purpose. but sometimes I forget.

I miss Candace. A lot. It's hard for me to say that sometimes. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes I smile because I remember her. I wish she was still here. I think if she was still here I wouldn't be sad so much now. But she wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to live. Really live. fearlessly. unconditionally. bravely. largely. but sometimes it's scary to live that way.

Sometimes I'm scared of the dark. failure. people. heights. fear. hurt. life. living. remembering. going to sleep. leaving. losing.
 But life goes on. Being afraid. lonely. hurt. angry. it's okay. it's okay to be those things. Sometimes it stinks to be that way. but life goes on.  
Be sad. Be alive. Feel it. really feel it.  
go drive to somewhere you've never been 
face your fears 
eat something that really grosses you out 
find a new favorite song 
ride your bike at 3 in the morning 
ride a horse 
start a garden 
sew a quilt 
enter a spelling bee 
shoot a firework 
camp out under the stars without a tent 
leave a random kind note in someones mailbox 
dream 
buy your best friend a present 
value every second 
be alive 
truly alive 
be sad 
happy 
lost 
angry 
joyful 
confused
just be.

Anchored to His love.

You know that feeling you get the night before Christmas when you're a little kid? That feeling that for one day, magic is alive. That the air tastes different. It's full of an electricity that makes you shake with excitement and keeps you up all night.

Tonight, I watched an amazing group of young people pass through their Discipleship Training School with flying colors. I love, love, LOVE seeing kids close to my age with a passion for our GREAT God. Watching them turn over this page in their life gives me that Christmas eve tingle I haven't felt since I was below 6 feet tall ;) I CAN'T wait until I'm up, accepting a diploma for finishing my DTS. Who knows where on this planet it will be. I may be standing in the middle of a swamp, but at least I'll be doing what I know God loves. I know without a doubt that God has some awesome plan for my life that could take me anywhere, doing anything. As long as I'm doing it for God,I know that nothing can stop me. I'm so excited that I cannot find the words to tell you just how EXCITED I am!

But here's the thing:
In high school, it's so easy to get caught up in drama drama drama, and lose sight of what matters. GOD MATTERS! If our whole school would embrace that, can you imagine what we could accomplish?! My God is able. He is able to love past our failures, conquer our sins, fight for the weary, protect the weak, defend the defenseless, care for the lonely, and beat the tar out of satan, all in the same second. The war is already won. Our God is the conqueror of all. If we take a stand for Him, who could possibly stand against us? God doesn't care about how popular you are. He doesn't care about how many friends you have. He doesn't care if you can't play any sports. He cares about sharing His love. Showing people how much He cares. How much He longs for us. Wants us. If we could embrace that fact, who on this planet could stand in our way? My God is an Awesome God. He is holy. He is mighty. Perfect. Who cares about all that junk between people? Forgive and forget and be better than all the stuff our world expects of us kids. Overcome the status quo. Our world demands average. ordinary. But a life with CHRIST is EXTRAordinary. It is everything you can possibly dream of, because when you have Christ in your heart, what you can only dream of, God can bring about like it's nobody's business. TRUST. Believe that He's gonna take you places and teach you things. Stop relying on other people to bring you self worth. High school is a grain of sand in our life. It'll be over in the blink of an eye. But the choices we make during this crucial time in our lives - the people we choose to be- those things will stick to us. Choose to be someone God will be able to look at and say, "I can use them." Strive for it. Every day of your life, make it a point to live for Him.

My God is not dead, He is surely alive.
He is surely alive.
Live like you will never have another day to show Him that He can use you. Give Him every piece of you. Every dirty piece of your heart - let Him clean it out and lay it down.
Lay it all down at His feet.
You can turn this life around.
God will never run out on you.

Love is the movement.

I have an apology to make.
Here I am, blogging about being a Christian, and yet I have been SUCH a hypocrite these past few months. So please forgive me for that.
I was standing in CV's the other day, (our local grocery store where I work) and a family of 3 came through my line. The little girl, around 8 probably, had an iPhone in her hands. The parents seemed sort of distant, and so I automatically assumed they gave their daughter whatever she wanted to keep her happy. "Spoiled kid," I automatically thought, and kept going on with the order. Later, a man came through my line. He had been through before, and I knew he rode a bike everywhere he went. He looked kind of rough, and so, ashamed as I am to say it, I automatically thought, "Ha, he's probably just some drug dealer."

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." - Matthew 7:1

"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for The Lord is able to make him stand." - Romans 14:1

It all clicked then.

Every person I see, whether it's in CV's, the street, school, WalMart... I judge them all. Automatically assume that they are some HORRIBLE people.
So I say to myself, "Jo, I bet he's a great guy with a great family at home that he's providing for."
But that may not be true. I stop myself. Here I am, a Christian, telling others not to judge. not to jump to conclusions. Yet I judge everyone I see.
Here's the thing. No, they may not have a great life. Maybe they do deal drugs. Maybe they don't care about their children. They make mistakes, just like me.

Here's the catch.
You've heard it 50,000,000,000 times in Sunday School. Learned it in AWANAS.
God loves them EXACTLY like He loves me. He cares for them. He's jealous for them. He's got His door wide open to them. Jesus didn't come for perfect people. He came for the lost. The broken. The hurting. The murderers. The drug dealers. The haters. The angry. That's who He came for.

So here's the thing. It's not about assuming somebody is a great person even if they don't look like it. It's not about repeating over and over to yourself that, "Hey, I bet they are really nice people!" It's about loving them no matter who they are. No matter if they've been to jail 10 times. No matter if they hate you.




No matter if they put you on a cross and slaughter you, because even then we are called to love like Christ.

1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

It's not about the moneyy.

I want so badly to be a missionary. I don't care where God takes me. I don't care if it's half way across the world. I just absolutely cannot wait.

I really truly believe God has given me a heart for missions because that's what he wants me to do. I want it with all my heart. Everything I've tried to set my heart on all these years seems like such a waste of time now.

But you want to know one thing that everyone seems to be concerned about?
Money.money.money.money.money.money.money.
Did I mention money?

Do you want to know how much a missionary gets paid?
Ehh, not much. well.. nothing. In Earthly currency that is. But they store up their real treasures in heaven.

When people talk to me about how much money they can't wait to make in their jobs and stuff, I just kind of smile and nod. Money doesn't excite me. That might come with being part of a family that's never exactly been rolling in dough. Maybe it's because the fact that I'm still living and breathing isn't because of money. It's because of this awesome God. He sent His only son to die - no, be SLAUGHTERED - for me so that I could live eternally with Him in heaven because He loves me that much. He loves us so much that He put every sin any of us have ever committed and put it on His son's shoulders. He took my blame. Took my shame. Took my guilt. That gift was something no amount of money could ever buy, so why should I base my life around money? It's useless paper that won't amount to anything in Heaven. Am I saying it's bad to make money? Absolutely not! I've just been blessed with a job that pays - wait for it - money! But I don't really worry about it. If God chooses to take that job away from me, then I know He won't leave me out in the dust. He'll provide; He always has.

Jobs are awesome things. The world needs bankers, and business men and women, and store managers, and dentists and doctors. I just don't feel that calling. I never really have, I guess. Growing up I could never put my finger on what exactly I want to do with my life. But when we left Michigan, I said to myself that I would NEVER be a missionary. I didn't want to have to uproot my family or cause them to have to worry about money. I saw kids around me getting everything they could ever want because they had money. But then God opened my eyes, and for once I saw past my own selfish desires and thoughts and it was like everything suddenly made sense. And here I am, 16 and ready to go wherever He takes me, doing the very thing I swore I'd never do. I want my kids to see that. And my grandkids, and my great-grandkids. I want them to experience God's faithfulness, even when times are hard. If my parents have taught me anything it's to wait and just see what God's gonna do, because He provides. HE PROVIDES!

We're Juniors, guys. When you sit down and start thinking about what it is you're going to do with your life, put aside the bill fold and the wallet and the credit cards. Grab your bible, and start praying like crazy. Where God takes you, I couldn't ever guess. But that's the exciting part of following Him. He has so many plans for you, if you'd just let Him start to reveal them to you.

Ready or not.

It's a new week. 5 more days to give God glory. How are you going to use this week? Well, let me just give you some encouragement :)

We are 1 and a half weeks into school, and I can honestly say that I haven't done squat to honor God. That's an incredibly shameful thing to have to admit, but I can't lie about it. All I've done is complain complain complain. "Waaaaahhh, I don't want to be heeerrrree!" "Oh, poor me. I have to be at school." Oh, cry me a river, Jo. Haha, anyway, here's the point.

Let's stop looking at school like it's some prison. It's not! School is one of the biggest opportunities we could possibly have to spread Christ!!! AHHH!! That makes me slightly excited. Okay, really excited. Anyway. This is a new week. A fresh start. So pray tonight. Stop right now and pray, right where you are. Pray that God will give people soft hearts to listen to whatever He wants to say through you, and that He'll give you the courage to say it. Okay? Pray. Right now. Then keep reading.

So that's my challenge to all of us, me included. This week is our chance to go out and spread God like wildfire. Who knows? We may wake up tomorrow and we won't have any time left to glorify God. He could come back any time. But until He does, START SPREADING HIM! Everywhere you go. Don't be scared, He's with you! Keep fighting the good fight until Christ returns. Go into this week with a renewed spirit, ready to battle through whatever satan throws at you! Put on the armor of God, and get ready. This is our chance. Let's make a difference.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:14

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men (and women!) of courage; be strong. Do everything in love." - 1 Corinthians 16:13

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action: be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy because I am holy." - 1 Peter 1:13

Let's go guys, cause God's not gonna wait forever. It's now or never.
Are you ready?

blinded.

The doors of the school mark a new milestone in your life. For sophomores, it's the start of the 3 years of high school that lie before them. For juniors, it reminds us that we still have one year after this one to get through. And for seniors, it's the beginning of the end of their childhood. But for all of us, those doors remind us that the laid back days of summer where it's easy to get by with a mediocre relationship with God are over. Behind those doors lies a world that will beg you to go down the wrong road. They will trick you into compromising your relationship with God for popularity in this temporary life. Those doors will ask you if you're ready to make a sacrifice for your eternal well-being rather than the temporary pleasure this life has to offer. Because believe me and any other junior or senior. High school asks you one question: who are you going to follow? There are two paths you can choose when you walk through those doors. There's no gray area. There's no room for fence riders. Either you fully commit yourself to not giving into the temptation that high school will throw in your face, or you give in. Yeah I know. You're not the kind of kid that does that kind of stuff. You're not that student that goes down that road. Well, I have news for you. I've lost a lot of friends to that road that promised they weren't ever going to change. They were going to follow God too. They were going to stand strong. But they didn't. And looking back, it's still hard for me to see those friends I've lost along the way. Being a Christian isn't always a popular choice when you're in high school. It's not convenient. And it's also not something you'll be perfect at. I know I'm sure not. But if you commit yourself to God and ask for strength and stop caring about the worldly ideas about having a relationship with God, it's not such an unreasonable thing to do.

But here's the thing:
It's hard to stop caring. I get that. I've been through it, and I still am. Sometimes I look at the kids around me that can go do things without feeling guilty or get invited to parties that may not even be bad, but they get invited because they're in the crowd. But guess what? In eternity, it's not going to matter how popular you were or how many parties you went to or how many boyfriends you had or if you played every sport in the book. This life is a temporary stop on our way to our destination. We were meant for more than parties and sports and friends. We were meant for this huge plan God has for our lives. But the world tells us that it's okay to make your own plan. "It's your future; make it what you want!" "Follow your heart!" "Live your life the way YOU want it." And when the outside world sees that you live your life differently, chasing after God, they close you out. And when that happens, you take your eyes off of God and look around. Nobody may be running with you. Maybe it's just you and God. And from the outside, looking in at what the world can offer may look inviting, but when you put your eyes back on God, all of that stuff fades into the background. It doesn't matter anymore. That's how it should be. It's like this: Our eyes have a blindspot in them, right on the front. So when you look up into a starry sky, you may not be able to see a certain star looking right at it,but if you focus somewhere else, suddenly that star comes into your peripheral vision and you can see it for how it really looks. Put your eyes back on it, and you're blinded to it. When you take your eyes off of God and look at what the world is shoving at you, all of that "stuff" looks great and inviting. But put your eyes back on Christ, and you can see the world for what it truly is, which is sinful and deceitful and untrustworthy. You name it. So when you come to realize that, let me give you this advice:

Do a 180 and run as fast as you can from the world. God will be waiting with outstretched arms, ready to take you back and help you along the journey of life.

So here it is kids. Tomorrow we're going to walk through the doors to Ozark High School, and we'll be bombarded with lies to cause us to stumble. In real life, don't do a 180 and sprint back out the doors, because then you'll be absent and your parents will probably think you skipped school. But in your heart, keep your eyes focused on God and he will guide you through the whirlwinds of those hallways.

In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path.

And p.s. If you ever find yourself giving up or overwhelmed with life, don't walk away from God. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'm just a facebook message, text, phonecall, or conversation away. Don't be ashamed to either. Following Christ isn't going to be easy, but I promise it's going to be worth it.

I will reach the Summit.

Summit.
Keahbone.
Chris White band.

I am overwhelmed. I just want to be back, but I know God has plans for us here. I would honestly spend a month straight there. We might all get sick of each other, but I know I would not get sick of that overwhelming, beautiful, perfect presence called the Holy Spirit.
Keahbone is such a blessing. He allows God to speak through him and God uses him so much. My life is going to be different, I can feel it. I figured, you know after a few hours of being home I'll get over all of that feeling I had there, but I'm not. I'm overcome with the Spirit. He's in me. I read my bible tonight. I really read it. I studied it. I applied it. I actually memorized something. I started the One19 Revolution, which is Mike Keahbone's bible study. It's already starting to impact me. I just can't get over this. I think about what God's done, and what he's still doing in my heart, and I literally want to cry. Not sad tears, I don't even know if their joyful tears. It's like they are just tears of letting so much out that's been building up for so long. I'm finally letting go of so much. Believe me though, I came home and knew satan was already at his temptation games. But I have strength now. Not my strength, but the strength of the Holy Spirit, letting me know that I can do this through Christ who strengthens me. He gives me strength. I'll fall. I'll trip over something the devil sets out, but I have strength to get back up now. I have God to pick me back up. I have trust knowing that God's moving. I have faith that reminds me God is in complete control of any worry I can have.

Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory? Oh church, come stand in the light. The glory of God has defeated the night! Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory? Oh church, come stand in the light! Our God is not dead; He's alive, He's alive!!

My God is alive. He's reigning over us, and I know when He comes back, whether it's tonight, tomorrow, or 100 years from now, I'll be ready. I have so much love for him. So much passion that before this week, didn't exist. I just went through my relationship with Him. Some days I didn't even pray. But now, I just want to talk to Him. I just want to know Him. I just want to love Him. I just want to praise Him. He's all I want. I think about the stuff I wanted before He grabbed ahold of me this week, and I think, what on earth was I thinking? God is so much greater than this! He is ALL I need! All I want! He loves me unconditionally. He wants me to have this precious gift. Even though I hurt Him so much, he still invites me back. Now, what kind of friend on Earth would do that for you? God is the only one that satisfies. He's all that there will be. And in the end, He's all that will matter. I love Him so much. I can't say it enough. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GOD!!!

THE GLORY OF GOD HAS DEFEATED THE NIGHT!